You are young/ You are old

It cannot be said when and if linguists will deliver on this, but at least there is a smaller but perhaps no less important bridge built by Dr. Tannen to gap the mother-daughter divide. Built in part with memories of her personal experience, her book in an insight in to a classical conflict (I see 6, you 9 – no puns!) in an everyday household situation.

Personally, my second thought is that I don’t know if this kind of curative approach to language and relationship does achieve anything useful for everyday life. As in, does one need academic knowledge or a “study” of linguistics to solve everyday life issues?

I think in a situation with a pure point-of-view conflict, nothing works best than praise, openness to listen to another, and validating their situation. Change can follow. Change is a process, no matter how fast.

Yet these are techniques remain conflict-specific. And I sense there is a bit of reactivity (I prefer “reactiveness”) to applying techniques to appease someone. But it comes down to this: the only one who we can truly motivate to be “active” is ourselves.